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Dangerously Delicious Pies: On the superiority of pie over cupcakes

People LOVE pie. Mention pie in a group of people and eyes suddenly become brighter and drool begins to drip unconsciously down numerous chins. Here in the District, cupcakes rule the day. But I refuse to be downtrodden by the popularity contest of cupcakes vs. pie.

Cupcakes are for armatures.  Don’t get me wrong, I like cupcakes. There prevalence in D.C. insures that I am inundated with cupcakes every day.  But the fact remains that pie, good pie, is far superior to the cupcake fad that has literally taken over D.C.  The fact does remain that cupcakes are indeed for amateurs, even given the alarming rate with which they are taking over The District.  Google gets approximately 94.8 million hits when you search for cupcakes. Pie on the other hand gets approximately 107 million hits when entered into the Google search engine.

Mathematical constructs are named after Pi(e).

When was the last time you saw someone take the square root of cupcake; that’s just silly.

If you’d like to see more hard scientific evidence on the superiority of pie over cake products there is a variety of information out there. It cannot be suppressed. I’m not the first person to write about pie I won’t be the last. There seems to be an underground resistance, intent on keeping pie in the limelight.

In The District, Dangerously Delicious Pies are at the forefront of the resistance.  This place is the mecca of all pie destinations; if mecca were inundated with local flavor and $10.00 bottomless mimosas. You heard me, but it’s worth repeating. $10.00 BOTTOMLESS MIMOSAS.

Pie is serious business. I go here all the time. I take my family here, I take my friends here, I take random people that I meet on the street here. It is that good. Dangerously Delicious pies are a sonnet for the taste buds. There are two veins of pie to be had at Dangerously Delicious Pies: savory and sweet.  For those of you who imagine that the venture of pie lacks creativity check out the menu; where they advertise delights such as southern  pecan pie, caramel apple pie, and pumpkin pie. For the more adventurous they serve a pie called the Baltimore BOMB made with the famous Baltimore Berger cookies.

Now I love a good sweet pie, but what I really salivate over are the savory pies.  My favorite from Dangerously Delicious Pies is the S.M.O.G pie.  S.M.O.G stands for Steak,Mushrooms,Onions, and Gruyere cheese. It is AMAZING! I’ve carted these pies across state lines for the holidays. I’ve had people change their religion about this pie. Both the taste and texture are the things that heaven is made out of.

While they do have an establishment in Baltimore, the location that I visit is on my beloved H street. It boasts the quaint blue and white of a country bakery; but any hint of the ordinary is dashed by the skull and cross bones pie box prominently displayed in the windows.  There are no frills here. You walk in, place your order, and choose a table if one is available. Space is limited and they have wifi soooooooo maybe get there earlier rather than later.  The daily pie selection is listed on chalkboards as you walk in. The establishment recently got a liquor license so beer is available.  Did I mention the $10 BOTTOMLESS MIMOSAS. After placing your order a waitress/barista/server cuts a generous piece of pie and heats it up in the back, where I imagine fairies are slaving mercilessly  to make my pie. The pie is delivered to your table in tiny tin pans, heated perfectly. I have one wish for Dangerously Delicious Pies: toppings. Eating these pies at home I often find myself changing the flavor profile with guacamole or A1 steak sauce. IT IS AMAZING. For those who do not eat meat they have a number of vegetarian options in addition to quiches.

If you are uninterested in trekking down to H street, apparently there is a food truck where you can get the same delicious pie for lunch during the work week. Here’s a good way to track down the food truck if you’re seeking pie. I personally love the H street area and use every excuse to go there.

I’ve taken a look at the yelp ratings and strongly disagree; three stars is simply not enough for such a neighborhood gym. Some of the complaints are based on the time it takes to heat the pie. If they were just heating with a microwave I might understand this, but from the flakiness of the crust and the consistency of the filling the pies are being heated in an oven. Good things take time. I cannot endorse this place enough. Right in the center of the H street nightlife, they stay open to 3:30am on Friday and Saturday. On St. Patrick’s day weekend they offered 4 dollar shots of Jameson. Also, they do date night. For 20$ you can get 2 savory slices and two sweet slices. I obviously wouldn’t recommend this for marathon eaters, but for the rest of us this is a pretty good deal.

So to sum up Dangerously Delicious Pies: they love their customers, they fit in well with the eclectic H street neighborhood. And most importantly they sell pie.

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7 thoughts on “Dangerously Delicious Pies: On the superiority of pie over cupcakes

  1. When looking at apts around here I used to think “nice neighborhood, fun nightlife, cute apts…”
    Now I’m involuntarily thinking, “nice neighborhood – and pie! – and fun nightlife – and pie! – cute apts – and pie!…”

  2. Dangerously Delucious Pies make pure ambrosia, the stuff fit for gods! Their culinary delights are a “must”eat. I can’t wait until my next DC visit to partake of the restaurant’s gastronomical delights!
    Ellis Turner captures perfectly the essence of the restaurants’ offerings – Americs’s pie!

  3. I am not a big red meat eater, but I decided to try the S.M.O.G. LOVED it. I would also like to ditto that pie is by far better than cupcakes and well worth price.

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