The fact of the matter is that cooking for one person is difficult. It is easier to cook 2-4 people by far. Don’t get me wrong, any more than four and the law of diminishing returns kicks in and your work to gain ratio alters drastically. What is this gain I speak of you ask. Anyone who has ever been to a bar will tell you that buying 1 round will insure that you drink for free for the rest of the evening, no matter how small or cheap that round was. People feel compelled to not only return your generosity but to exceed it. I cannot tell you the number of times that I have purchased a round of 2$ pints only to be rewarded with Belgium beers and shots of Patron. The same concept applies with dinner parties in may ways. Don’t get me wrong, worming your way into multiple meals via the dinner party route takes more finesse than the bar route, mainly because people are not drunk, but it can be done. The key is to convince your “guests” (read suckers) that you have put an inordinate amount of work into preparing the meal that you have laid in front of them. Towards that end I have provided the following recipe that will amaze and astound your friends into making you the most extravagant dinners with at least 4x the cost of the meal that you are preparing. Trust me, you’ll come out on top in the long run. To my friends who are reading this: learn from my example & try this trick on someone else so that you too may reap the rewards. Some of you may think I’m cold, selfish, greedy, shady – whatever: A girls gotta eat. Right?
Here goes – this is literally about a 4 step recipe that any idiot can follow. Seriously – it’s about as complicated as breathing. Here’s what you’ll need: Salmon, Brussels Sprouts, Onion, Garlic cloves, Salt, Crushed Red Pepper, Old bay. Shopping at my favorite international food store, H&A International foods, I paid under $12.00 for all of the ingredients. More on that spot later. For now lets move on to the grand deception.
1. The first step is to cut the salmon into pieces as seen in the picture below. At this point you’re about half way done.
2. After cutting the salmon into appropriate pieces season the filets with the salt, crushed red pepper, and Old Bay. I’m liberal with seasoning, but do what’s best for you.
3. Next you’ll want to take place the salmon filets onto a well oiled pan. Take this opportunity to cut the onion into large chunks. Add the Brussels Sprouts, chopped onions, and garlic cloves to the pan with the salmon filets. Just for good measure because I was unsure if the garlic, onions, and salmon would be flavorful enough I tossed on some roasted red pepper flakes; because if it doesn’t hurt just a little bit how can you know how good it really is. Right?
4. The last step is put the well oiled pan containing all of your ingredients into the oven at ~300 degrees F for 30-40 minutes. I keep a close eye on my and take the salmon out when the white foamy stuff starts to foam around the filet.
5. Remove the pan from the oven and plate the salmon. Sometimes I eat it with a cilantro lime sauce other times with just soy sauce.
6. Your last step is the most important. Dabble a bit of water on your forehead to simulate sweat, also powder your cheeks with flour. Remember to look sufficiently exhausted so that you’re friends (marks) suitably feel the necessity of making you extravagant meals that seemingly match the effort that you put into making a meal for them.
Now that I’ve let you in on my grand deception I urge you to use this power responsibly.